I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
this boner is exhausting
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
