is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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