I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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