I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
