Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
