I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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