your thong is hanging out like whoa
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
