This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
