so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It was like getting head from an anaconda
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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