To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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