I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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