even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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