Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
