watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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