GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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