I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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