I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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