omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
