He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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