the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
only if we run a train.
done.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
