if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
