So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
