we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
