fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
