dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
