on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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