you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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