just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
