Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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