i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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