She announced her abortion via fbk
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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