I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize