her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
