Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
