I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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