They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
