I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Randomize
