cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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