A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
