I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
