you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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