You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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