carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
