when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
