New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
