i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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