READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
