Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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