is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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