Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
