great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
