just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
