I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
