he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
