did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
