She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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