so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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