I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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