I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
