He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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