Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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