Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He has the fingertips of a God
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