He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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