All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
